Communication

Tips on having better conversations

• Listen! Do not text, check twitter. Multitasking kills the conversation.
• Be present. A dumb mistake that you made 5 years ago is not important than the conversation.
• Be brief and clear. Avoid complex explanations. Insignificant details bore your colleague and even cause him to miss crucial points.
• Unless it is important, do not rephrase.
• If you do not know, say it.
• Talk face to face. From ancient times to cutting-edge technology of 21st century, face to face conversation is still the healthiest way to communicate. Check 6th principle of Agile Manifesto.
• If you need help, ask for it.
• Use open-ended questions instead of yes/no. Especially while talking to your customer. Let them explain. You will get more satisfactory answers.

Avoding miscommunication

Communication is fairly complex even in face to face, in the same medium and through the same language. But with a little understanding of how we communicate and what happens when we communicate can contribute a lot.

Communication has been modeled in several ways:

Transmission Model:

• This model represents communication as a message from one person to another. But lacks the ability to express the complexities of communication.

Transaction Model:

• Models communication as a game of catch where reciprocality is prominent. As we communicate we receive feedback and create meaning together.
• But humans can not perfectly express themselves or understand each other due to the very subjective nature of communication. Each message is interpreted by the person though 'filters' and thus messages shift.
• These filters include personal experiences, relationship with the other person, intrinsic or extrinsic distractions etc.
• It is more like a game of catch played with a clay where the shape of clay changes with the touch of each party.

Some practices may help to avoid miscommunication in our lives:

1. Recognize the difference between 'passive hearing' and 'active listening'
2. Listen with your eyes, ears and 'gut'.
3. Take time to understand the other person. Do not rush to express your ideas.
4. Be aware of your personal filters.

References

https://www.ted.com/talks/celeste_headlee_10_ways_to_have_a_better_conversation

http://www.upliftevents.com.au/blog/communicate-effectively-colleagues/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCfzeONu3Mo