chore: upgrade toolchains that we use MONGOSH-1775 (#2043)

* chore: upgrade toolchain and node

* chore: downgrade arm64 to use v3

* chore: add a revert patch and upgrade toolchain for arm64

* chore: fix patch

* chore: fix patch

* chore: use the backported commit

* chore: fix typo in file name

* chore: fix patch

* chore: try to fix patch

* chore: try to patch based on the changes on node.gyp