Cherrypick 1.26: Drop Node events when EC2 instance does not exist and node is not new

[mmerkes]

What type of PR is this?
/kind bug

/kind cleanup
/kind design
/kind documentation
/kind failing-test
/kind feature
/kind flake

What this PR does / why we need it:
See #753
Which issue(s) this PR fixes:

Fixes #

Special notes for your reviewer:

Does this PR introduce a user-facing change?:

NONE

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[cartermckinnon]

/lgtm
/approve

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