backport: merge bitcoin#23496, #26272, #23443, #26381, #26396, #26448, #26359, #26686, #23670, partial bitcoin#19953 (Erlay support)

backport: merge bitcoin#23496, #26272, #23443, #26381, #26396, #26448, #26359, #26686, #23670, partial bitcoin#19953 (Erlay support) #1090