deck_redbox.go

package cardsagainstdiscord

func init() {
	pack := &CardPack{
		Name:        "redbox",
		Description: "Red box expansion",
		Prompts: []*PromptCard{
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `%s would be woefully incomplete without %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `%s: Hours of fun. Easy to use. Perfect for %s!`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `%s. Awesome in theory, kind of a mess in practice.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `A remarkable new study has shown that chimps have evolved their own primitive version of %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `A successful job interview begins with a firm handshake and ends with %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `After months of practice with %s, I think I’m finally ready for %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for %s!`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `And what did you bring for show and tell?`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `As part of his contract, Prince won’t perform without %s in his dressing room.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `As part of his daily regimen, Anderson Cooper sets aside 15 minutes for %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `Awww, sick! I just saw this skater do a 720 kickflip into %s!`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `Before %s, all we had was %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `Before I run for president, I must destroy all evidence of my involvement with %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `Call the law offices of Goldstein & Goldstein, because no one should have to tolerate %s in the workplace.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `Charades was ruined for me forever when my mom had to act out %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `Dear Sir or Madam, We regret to inform you that the Office of %s has denied your request for %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `Doctor, you've gone too far! The human body wasn't meant to withstand that amount of %s!`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `During high school I never really fit in until I found %s club.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `Finally! A service that delivers %s right to your door.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `Future Historians will agree that %s marked the beginning of America's decline.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `Having problems with %s? Try %s!`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `Hey baby, come back to my place and I’ll show you %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `I love being a mom. But it's tough when my kids come home filthy from %s. That's why there's Tide®.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `I spent my whole life working toward %s, only to have it ruined by %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `I went from %s to %s, all thanks to %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `I’m not like the rest of you. I’m too rich and busy for %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `If God didn't want us to enjoy %s, he wouldn't have given us %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `In a pinch, %s can be a suitable substitute for %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `In his new self-produced album, Kanye West raps over the sounds of %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `In his newest and most difficult stunt, David Blaine must escape from %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `In its new tourism campaign, Detroit proudly proclaims that it has finally eliminated %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `In Rome, there are whisperings that the Vatican has a secret room devoted to %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `In the seventh circle of Hell, sinners must endure %s for all eternity.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `Legend has it Prince wouldn't perform without %s in his dressing room.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `Listen, son. If you want to get involved with %s, I won’t stop you. Just steer clear of %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `Lovin’ you is easy ’cause you’re %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `Members of New York's social elite are paying thousands of dollars just to experience %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `Michael Bay's new three-hour action epic pits %s against %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `Money can’t buy me love, but it can buy me %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `My gym teacher got fired for adding %s to the obstacle course.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `My life is ruled by a vicious cycle of %s and %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `My mom freaked out when she looked at my browser history and found %s.com/%s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `My new favorite porn star is Joey "%s" McGee.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `My plan for world domination begins with %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `Next time on Dr. Phil: How to talk to your child about %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `Next week on the Discovery Channel, one man must survive in the depths of the Amazon with only %s and his wits.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `Only two things in life are certain: death and %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `Science will never explain %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `The blind date was going horribly until we discovered our shared interest in %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `The CIA now interrogates enemy agents by repeatedly subjecting them to %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, %s, acceptance.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `The healing process began when I joined a support group for victims of %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `The secret to a lasting marriage is communication, communication, and %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `This is your captain speaking. Fasten your seatbelts and prepare for %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `This month's Cosmo: "Spice up your sex life by bringing %s into the bedroom."`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `To prepare for his upcoming role, Daniel Day-Lewis immersed himself in the world of %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `Tonight on 20/20: What you don't know about %s could kill you.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `Turns out that %s-Man was neither the hero we needed nor wanted.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `Welcome to Señor Frog's! Would you like to try our signature cocktail, “%s on the Beach"?`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `What brought the orgy to a grinding halt?`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `What has been making life difficult at the nudist colony?`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `What left this stain on my couch?`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `What's harshing my mellow, man?`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `When all else fails, I can always masturbate to %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `When I pooped, what came out of my butt?`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `When you get right down to it, %s is just %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `With enough time and pressure, %s will turn into %s.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `You haven't truly lived until you've experienced %s and %s at the same time.`},
			&PromptCard{Prompt: `Your persistence is admirable, my dear Prince. But you cannot win my heart with %s alone.`},
		},

		Responses: []ResponseCard{
			`24-hour media coverage`,
			`A 55-gallon drum of lube`,
			`A big black dick`,
			`A bigger, blacker dick`,
			`A black-owned and operated business`,
			`A bloody pacifier`,
			`A boo-boo`,
			`A botched circumcision`,
			`A Burmese tiger pit`,
			`A cat video so cute that your eyes roll back and your spine slides out of your anus`,
			`A cop who is also a dog`,
			`A crappy little hand`,
			`A dollop of sour cream`,
			`A fat bald man from the internet`,
			`A fortuitous turnip harvest`,
			`A greased-up Matthew McConaughey`,
			`A Japanese toaster you can fuck`,
			`A Japanese tourist who wants something very badly but cannot communicate it`,
			`A lamprey swimming up the toilet and latching onto your taint`,
			`A low standard of living`,
			`A magic hippie love cloud`,
			`A man in yoga pants with a ponytail and feather earrings`,
			`A nautical theme`,
			`A nuanced critique`,
			`A passionate Latino lover`,
			`A phantasmagoria of anal delights`,
			`A pile of squirming bodies`,
			`A piñata full of scorpions`,
			`A plunger to the face`,
			`A PowerPoint presentation`,
			`A sad fat dragon with no friends`,
			`A sales team of clowns and pedophiles`,
			`A slightly shittier parallel universe`,
			`A smiling black man, a latina businesswoman, a cool Asian, and some whites`,
			`A sofa that says “I have style, but I like to be comfortable.”`,
			`A spontaneous conga line`,
			`A squadron of moles wearing aviator goggles`,
			`A surprising amount of hair`,
			`A sweaty, panting leather daddy`,
			`A sweet spaceship`,
			`A vagina that leads to another dimension`,
			`A web of lies`,
			`Actually getting shot, for real`,
			`All my friends dying`,
			`All of this blood`,
			`An all-midget production of Shakespeare’s Richard III`,
			`An army of skeletons`,
			`An ass disaster`,
			`An ether-soaked rag`,
			`An Etsy steampunk strap-on`,
			`An evil man in evil clothes`,
			`An unhinged ferris wheel rolling toward the sea`,
			`An unhinged Ferris wheel rolling toward the sea`,
			`An unstoppable wave of fire ants`,
			`André the Giant's enormous, leathery scrotum`,
			`Another shot of morphine`,
			`Basic human decency`,
			`Being a busy adult with many important things to do`,
			`Being a dinosaur`,
			`Being a hideous beast that no one could love`,
			`Being awesome at sex`,
			`Being black`,
			`Being white`,
			`Big Bird's brown, crusty asshole`,
			`Big ol' floppy titties`,
			`Bill Clinton, naked on a bearskin rug with a saxophone`,
			`Blood farts`,
			`Blowing some dudes in an alley`,
			`Boris the Soviet Love Hammer`,
			`Bosnian chicken farmers`,
			`Bullshit`,
			`Buying the right pants to be cool`,
			`Catastrophic urethral trauma`,
			`Chugging a lava lamp`,
			`Clams`,
			`Clenched butt cheeks`,
			`Cock`,
			`Consent`,
			`Converting to Islam`,
			`Crabapples all over the fucking sidewalk`,
			`Crushing Mr. Peanut's brittle body`,
			`Crying into the pages of Sylvia Plath`,
			`Cumming deep inside my best bro`,
			`Dad's funny balls`,
			`Daddy's belt`,
			`Death by Steven Seagal`,
			`Deflowering the princess`,
			`Demonic possession`,
			`Dining with cardboard cutouts of the cast of "Friends."`,
			`Dining with cardboard cutouts of the cast of Friends`,
			`Disco fever`,
			`Dorito breath`,
			`Double penetration`,
			`Drinking my bro's pee-pee right out of his peen`,
			`Drinking ten 5-hour ENERGYs® to get fifty continuous hours of energy`,
			`Dying alone and in pain`,
			`Eating an albino`,
			`Eating Tom Selleck’s mustache to gain his powers`,
			`Emotional baggage`,
			`Enormous Scandinavian women`,
			`Existing`,
			`Fabricating statistics`,
			`Fetal alcohol syndrome`,
			`Filling every orifice with butterscotch pudding`,
			`Filling my son with spaghetti`,
			`Finding Waldo`,
			`Fisting`,
			`Flying robots that kill people`,
			`Fuck Mountain`,
			`Gandalf`,
			`Gargling jizz`,
			`Gay aliens`,
			`Genetically engineered super-soldiers`,
			`George Clooney's musk`,
			`Getting abducted by Peter Pan`,
			`Getting hilariously gang-banged by the Blue Man Group`,
			`Getting your dick stuck in a Chinese finger trap with another dick`,
			`Gladiatorial combat`,
			`Going around punching people`,
			`Grandpa's ashes`,
			`Graphic violence, adult language, and some sexual content`,
			`Having $57 in the bank`,
			`Having a penis`,
			`Having sex on top of a pizza`,
			`Having shotguns for legs`,
			`Hillary Clinton`,
			`Hipsters`,
			`Historical revisionism`,
			`Hot doooooooogs`,
			`How awesome it is to be white`,
			`How wet my pussy is`,
			`Indescribable loneliness`,
			`Insatiable bloodlust`,
			`Intimacy problems`,
			`Jafar`,
			`Jeff Goldblum`,
			`Jesus`,
			`Jumping out at people`,
			`Just the tip`,
			`Letting everyone down`,
			`Leveling up`,
			`Literally eating shit`,
			`Living in a trash can`,
			`Living in a trashcan`,
			`Loki, the trickster god`,
			`Mad hacky-sack skills`,
			`Making a friend`,
			`Making shit up`,
			`Making the penises kiss`,
			`Maximal insertion`,
			`Me`,
			`Medieval Times® Dinner & Tournament`,
			`Mild autism`,
			`Mom`,
			`Mooing`,
			`Moral ambiguity`,
			`Mufasa’s death scene`,
			`Multiple orgasms`,
			`My father, who died when I was seven`,
			`My first kill`,
			`My machete`,
			`My manservant, Claude`,
			`Neil Patrick Harris`,
			`Not contributing to society in any meaningful way`,
			`Not having sex`,
			`Nothing`,
			`Nubile slave boys`,
			`Nunchuck moves`,
			`Ominous background music`,
			`Oncoming traffic`,
			`One Ring to rule them all`,
			`One thousand Slim Jims`,
			`Overpowering your father`,
			`Power`,
			`Pretty Pretty Princess Dress-Up Board Game®`,
			`Pumping out a baby every nine months`,
			`Putting an entire peanut butter and jelly sandwich into the VCR`,
			`Quiche`,
			`Racial profiling`,
			`Revenge fucking`,
			`Reverse cowgirl`,
			`Rich people`,
			`Ripping into a man's chest and pulling out his still-beating heart`,
			`Ripping open a man’s chest and pulling out his still-beating heart`,
			`Rising from the grave`,
			`Roland the Farter, flatulist to the king`,
			`Running naked through a mall, pissing and shitting everywhere`,
			`Ryan Gosling riding in on a white horse`,
			`Samuel L. Jackson`,
			`Sanding off a man's nose`,
			`Santa Claus`,
			`Savagely beating a mascot`,
			`Screaming like a maniac`,
			`Scrotal frostbite`,
			`Scrotum tickling`,
			`Self-flagellation`,
			`Sexual humiliation`,
			`Shaft`,
			`Shitting out a screaming face`,
			`Shutting the fuck up`,
			`Slapping a racist old lady`,
			`Sneezing, farting, and cumming at the same time`,
			`Some douche with an acoustic guitar`,
			`Some kind of bird-man`,
			`Some really fucked-up shit`,
			`Sorcery`,
			`Special musical guest, Cher`,
			`Spending lots of money`,
			`Staring at a painting and going "hmmmmmm..."`,
			`Statistically validated stereotypes`,
			`Stockholm Syndrome`,
			`Subduing a grizzly bear and making her your wife`,
			`Sudden Poop Explosion Disease`,
			`Suicidal thoughts`,
			`Suicide bombers`,
			`Survivor's guilt`,
			`Swiftly achieving orgasm`,
			`Syphilitic insanity`,
			`Taking a man's eyes and balls out and putting his eyes where his balls go and then his balls in the eye holes`,
			`That ass`,
			`The baby that ruined my pussy`,
			`The black Power Ranger`,
			`The boners of the elderly`,
			`The day the birds attacked`,
			`The economy`,
			`The entire Internet`,
			`The flute`,
			`The four arms of Vishnu`,
			`The Gulags`,
			`The Harlem Globetrotters`,
			`The harsh light of day`,
			`The hiccups`,
			`The hose`,
			`The human body`,
			`The Land of Chocolate`,
			`The mere concept of Applebee's®`,
			`The milk that comes out of a person`,
			`The mixing of the races`,
			`The moist, demanding chasm of his mouth`,
			`The new Radiohead album`,
			`The ooze`,
			`The primal, ball-slapping sex your parents are having right now`,
			`The prunes I've been saving for you in my armpits`,
			`The Quesadilla Explosion Salad™ from Chili’s.®`,
			`The shambling corpse of Larry King`,
			`The systematic destruction of an entire people and their way of life`,
			`The thin veneer of situational causality that underlies porn`,
			`The total collapse of the global financial system`,
			`The way white people is`,
			`The worst pain imaginable. Times two!`,
			`Three months in the hole`,
			`Tiny nipples`,
			`Tongue`,
			`Tripping balls`,
			`Unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks`,
			`Velcro™`,
			`Vietnam flashbacks`,
			`Vomiting mid-blowjob`,
			`Walking in on Dad peeing into Mom's mouth`,
			`Warm, velvety muppet sex`,
			`Weapons-grade plutonium`,
			`Wearing an octopus for a hat`,
			`Whining like a little bitch`,
			`Whipping a disobedient slave`,
			`White power`,
			`Words, words, words`,
			`Zeus's sexual appetites`,
			`%blank`,
			`%blank`,
			`%blank`,
		},
	}

	AddPack(pack)
}