ELECTIONS 2020 #117
Comments
Who are you?Dan Schultz What position are you running for?Overmind Why are you qualified?I honestly wish I wasn't! Please, someone take this away from me! I BEG OF YOU! That said, I do BIF work as my full time job and it does require a bunch of time and energy; if someone else does it we'll probably wanna compensate them for their attention somehow! What is your favorite color?Still green What do you think this position should involve?It would probably be really healthy to have an Overmind who actually has time to keep things moving in the land of fun. Right now it's really just the person who writes checks to people who are doing work and invoicing BIF and who tries to make sure we're paying taxes on time. Is there anything you would do differently than the last schlub to do this?Once COVID stops maybe I'll have time to push fun things again; until then I'm honestly going to just be trying to keep things moving in status quo. What are your goals for your tenure, how will you make 'em happen?This is... this is the same thing as the previous question right? Who the hell wrote this form. I would like to work with the hive mind to rotate out members who are less involved, and think about ways to increase creative participation in future. You don't get paid for this, what is wrong with you?Oh I get paid. When you lose the election, how will you want to stay involved?I'd probably somehow get MORE involved! Any last words?It was nice knowing you all, but I have a feeling the simulation is about to come to an end. |
Who are you?🙃💵🌿🎤🚪🌏🐎🥋🚫😆😍🕹🐎✉🐅🏹🚨🏎🏎☂👉⌨🔄🤣🎅👑ℹ☺👑🤣☃🔬🐅🔄😀☺🐅🌿😀☀ℹ❓🏹🗒 What position are you running for?chaos wrangler Why are you qualified?🙃💵🌿🎤🚪🌏🐎🥋🚫😆😍👑💵🎃✉🌏🔄☀🍌🎤🦓🔄🎅🍍🤣😡🍵✖✖👣📮😆😁😎🐎🎈🍍📮🎤💧🌊👁🎃😎😇🙃☺🍴📮😆🚪🔬🌿🍌😇⌨🐘🐅🦓⏩🔬🏎🕹✖🚰👌👌😁👁😂✉😀🌿🖐🛩🍴📮🐅🔄🎤📂🙃🌊🎤🏎🍵🌉👌🚪🔪👉🏹✖✅☂😇🍴😀ℹ🎤🍎🥋🤣🔪😆🎅☃👁🍍🌉🦓🕹⏩✖🏎👑👉⏩🌉🌉⏩⏩🚨🎤💧🌿🌏✅🔬🔬⌨🌿🌉🏎😡🍍😂📮😡☃👑🦓📂🚹🌏✖🛩👑🌿👌📂✅🌉🕹🐅🐍🛩🚰💵🔪🍴🚹🖐🌪✖👉✖🌉✉🏹👉👌🍎🖐🐅🌪🐅🎤👣☺😊⌨🚰🎤🌏🐍🚰👣🍍🌊🚪😁👣🔬🖐😍🍍🚰😊😀☃😎🎤🌿🍌🍵💧🍎😁😁🚨🥋🍌🎅🌏🍌⌨👑🎈😁👌🕹😎❓🐎🔬✅😎👁🚨🏎✉👁👌🌊🥋ℹ🌉🖐📂🙃☂🎈😡🐘😆☀🎤🐎🥋🍵👣🚪🖐😎👑✖📮💵👣🏹😇🎅🍴😍✉😎👉🌿🔄🍌🕹😀⌨👑✉👌🌿🚫🐎😎😁🚹🛩🔬👣🚪🐎🚫👣🎃ℹ🥋🍵✖🦓🕹🍍😁🌏🏹🌪😡😊🍵🍴👉👣☃🖐👣🚰😡👌🕹👁👣ℹ✅☂📂🍎🍍🚫🚪🖐🖐🚪⌨❓🐘🔪🔄🎤🍵🕹🤣🚫🚪⏩🤣⏩🐎🚪🐍⏩🔄🎈😊💧⏩🚨🔪🍵😆😂🌊😍🙃🐘❓👉🌏✉😊😁📂👉🎃😊👑🌊🚨🐍🌉🕹🚰💧🏹😇🔬🏎🕹ℹ❓🖐😇😎👣👁👣🍌🐘🙃🎃🎤😇🌊😇👌🔬🍍😂🔄😆☺😎💵🎈🎅🕹🚨❓🚫🕹👑🐍👉☃🍵🎤👣⌨🏎🙃📂👣😆😂🔄😇😇🍍👁🐎✅🐎🔄🙃✖✉💧🍴🏎💧😆🌉🚪⏩🎅🖐📮😡😂💧🎃⌨🔬👉👉🦓🚹😁🎅👣🏎☺🌿😡🏹😡😎😡✅💵🔬😎🔄🚫💵🌉🔬🥋🚫😍✖☀😂🥋😆💧🌊🤣☃🌊🚹💧🍎🍴✅😆🔄🌊🔬👉👣😆🚪🔬🍌🔄🚫👣😡😡🏹🍍🍍🔪🍴🎅🌉🐅🎅🥋🌊🏎☂☺👉😊🏎🚫🏹🗒🗒 What is your favorite color?🙃💵🌿🎤🚪🌏🐎🥋🚫😆🎃😡🍴💵😆☃🔄🎅🚹😀☺👌🍎😎📮🖐🚨🍎👑🍍🦓✉🎤🌪🍵🌊👁👑🐘🤣😎👌🎤🗒 What do you think this position should involve?🙃💵🌿🎤🚪🌏🐎🥋🚫😆🔪🐅🌏✉😊🏹⏩😡❓🕹📮☃🦓🕹😍😡🐘🐍🎤😊👉🍍💵🌉🚪👁🍍✉ℹ📂🎈🚹☃🍵🍴😂😇🌉⌨🦓🍴🙃🥋😡🛩🦓👉🌿🚪🥋😊🐍🦓🏎🍎😂🦓😆😍🐍✖🛩😍🌪☃😡🦓🍎☺🕹☺🦓🎤💧💵🚫🎃😡💧ℹ😊ℹ🤣❓🤣😀👑👁👉🎃ℹ🔬📂🎤🎃🐍💵☺🎈🍴🤣🎈🍵⏩🍎⏩😍🕹😇📂🐎🍴😀☃📂👁🏹✖👣🏹😀🏹ℹ🦓🚪🚫📂😀😡👣🍵☀ℹ👌😍🔪🏎🔪⌨🏹🗒🗒 Is there anything you would do differently than the last schlub to do this?🙃💵🌿🎤🚪🌏🐎🥋🚫😆😍📮👌😁🖐🎃🐎❓✖🏹🤣🚨😂☃🌪✖🤣🥋😇🌊🌪🌉😇🔬😇☀☀🚨🌊🍵👌🎈✉🏎👉🍍🚹⏩👉⌨🥋👁📮🐎🚪🌏🍵📮🌊👣💧😇🎤🥋😍☃📂🛩👁🍴🏹🏎⌨🔄🚫🐍🍵🌏🍴ℹ👣✅🔬😆🚹🛩🚫🐎😆🐎🌪🛩❓🦓😁☃⏩🕹💵🐎🐘😍⏩✖🚨🐎💵🏎🚹📂😆🚰😎🦓👉🚨🌿🔪🕹🏎🔬🔄🚪😁💧🚫⏩☃🔪🎤😀☀📂☃💧🤣🐘🍌🔄☺🕹🐍🖐📮🏹🤣🚨🍍🔬😎😡👉🍎⏩👑🌉👌🐅🥋🍎🌉☂🍴🙃🍌🔬🥋😇🍎☺⏩🥋ℹ👣🌿🐍☀🎅🌿🎤🤣🌊🥋☂🌉🍌🎤👌👌🌏👌👌 What are your goals for your tenure, how will you make 'em happen?🙃💵🌿🎤🚪🌏🐎🥋🚫😆😍🍵😁🎃☂🎃✖🚹🎤ℹ🎃🙃✅☂💧✖☂🙃🐅🖐🐅🕹🍌🎈🚪🚹🎅📮ℹ🐎🕹✅🍎👣😊🍎🚰🌊👉☀😍☀🚫🥋🎤🙃😂🌊🛩💵👉😊💵😁👉☺😂🔄🍍🍍☃✉👁🐎🚰☂😀💵🌏👑🍍🎅💧⏩👑🍴🔬💧🏹🍎🌿🐅😆🍎😍🏎☀🚪😆☺🏎😀☀😇🖐👑👣🏎🏎🔬🐎👣✅✉🌏🐅🚹😂⌨🦓🍴🔬📂✖🚫📂🌪🎤🔪🍴🌿🌉🍌⏩🔬🍍🎤🔪❓🤣👣⏩🚰🚫🖐👑📮🕹🐎✅🍍🏎🎃📮⏩👌👁🐅😡🚫🍍😇🍴🐎😍🚪💵🔬🐎🕹🌏🙃⌨🎅🔬📂🏹🔬🌊🍌😂😎😊✖⏩🎃🥋🌏👑🚰🍴👌👌🍵🥋🎃🌪🤣👑🚪🏎🚨☺🤣✉🔪🏹😆😀🌊🤣🍌🚹🏹🗒🗒 You don't get paid for this, what is wrong with you?🙃💵🌿🎤🚪🌏🐎🥋🚫😆😍💧😍😎🔄😇⏩🛩❓🥋😍🐍🌊❓😡☃☀⌨ℹ🕹😇✅❓🌏👉✉🐘😀🌏😆🥋🐘⏩🔄🏹😆🦓👑☀👁🖐📂🔬✅✖🌿✖🔄😂❓🚪🦓🚨🍴😀🏹☀🚪🏹👉🔄✖🌊👉🐅✖👁🔪🌿✖☺🎅🏹🕹🎃😀🗒🗒 When you lose the election, how will you want to stay involved?🙃💵🌿🎤🚪🌏🐎🥋🚫😆✅👁😀✅⏩🐘🥋😁🙃📂📂🥋🚫🚪📮ℹ🔬🍵🔄🚹🛩🎃💧🏹🔪🌏🎈👁👌⌨🚨✉🏎👑🍎🎤🔬🌏🍴🥋😎🚹👑⌨🔄🍌✉🛩😀😆🚨🖐ℹ🐅🔄😂☂😍🐅🏹🏹☺🙃⌨⏩🕹☂👌🖐🖐🚪🐘🖐😎🐅📂😆🌪🔄🚰🎈✉🔄🔬🔬🌪👌🔪✅📂☃😀🎤👑🍌🚪🎃💵😇🐎🚫🐘👁😁🌪✖🚨🎅🎤☺😊🌿👑🐘🐍🍵⏩👉😇📮🐘🍵✅🐘💵🌊🎈🚪🥋🎅😆🌏😊🤣☺🎅🤣😎👌💧🗒🗒 Any last words?🙃💵🌿🎤🚪🌏🐎🥋🚫😆✅😍👌😁🌿ℹ⌨😆🐅☂👁🚨☂✖✖📮😆✅🔪🥋🎤🌉💵👌💵😊😂✉🎃🕹🦓🚫🍎🍍❓🚨👑👉👣🔄👣🚪✖🙃😎😊🐘😁💧🕹✅🎃🌊😂 https://aghorler.github.io/emoji-aes/ but you'll have to figure out the key. |
Who are you?Hi, I'm Chris. I'm a journalist, developer and designer. What position are you running for?Secretary of Code? I think that's the right one. Unless anyone else wants it. Why are you qualified?I have seven years of experience as a "professional" developer, three as a team lead. In that capacity, I've introduced project management, task automation and devops processes that help my organization deliver better work more consistently. I also built Bad Decision Maker. What is your favorite color?I don't play favorites, but if I had to choose maybe #27c7ab. What do you think this position should involve?Automating our company. Is there anything you would do differently than the last schlub to do this?Not going to speak ill of my predecessor. What are your goals for your tenure, how will you make 'em happen?If you'd have asked me earlier this year, I'd have said, "expand Bad Decision Maker." Now, I'm not sure. You don't get paid for this, what is wrong with you?That's a lifelong process of discovery. When you lose the election, how will you want to stay involved?Minimally. Any last words?Yes. |
Who are you?
What position are you running for?
Why are you qualified?
What is your favorite color?
What do you think this position should involve?
Is there anything you would do differently than the last schlub to do this?
What are your goals for your tenure, how will you make 'em happen?
You don't get paid for this, what is wrong with you?
When you lose the election, how will you want to stay involved?
Any last words?
|
Who are you?Excuse me? You don't know who I am? What's your name? Look, I don't care. I'm not going to remember it. My dad's pretty high up at this company, you know. And I'm just going to give him a call on my phone, right here, and tell him that this weasel-eyed dumb-dumb taking these applications can't recognize the boss's son and should probably be fired. I've got him on the phone right now. Hey dad? -- what's that? No need for that, you say? All right, fine. I'm going to let you off the hook, just this once. But remember this pretty face. Next time you see me you call me "Mr. Huang." What position are you running for?Undermind. Can we change the title, by the way? Get the acronym "VP" in there somewhere? It will really look good on my resume. Why are you qualified?My dad says I'd get the job because of nepo-- nepot-- whatever, it doesn't matter, I'm not a scientist. Look, I was the captain of the crew team at Yale. And I technically graduated with an MBA, even. But if you really need to see my management consulting experience I'll just text you my LinkedIn later. I've got a ton of references from my dad's friends, you know. What is your favorite color?Is this a trick question? Red. As in the blood of my enemies and my favorite political party. What do you think this position should involve?Definitely work smarter, not harder. Innovation eats strategy for breakfast. The hard things about hard things is that getting to yes helps us measure what matters to get us from good to great. Is there anything you would do differently than the last schlub to do this?You mean my dad? Look, he's great and all, and literally gave me everything in life, including my BMW, my vacation house, and my girlfriend's boobs, but he's old and super out of touch with real life. I'm going to bring a fresh look on what we do at this company. What are your goals for your tenure, how will you make 'em happen?I'm going to succeed. And win. I'm going to win so hard, all of our competitors will lose. We can simply use all of the tried and true tactics for business success:
You don't get paid for this, what is wrong with you?I already own equity in this company and my dad is rich, so who cares? This is just a stepping stone to a CEO job where I'll make millions for playing golf. When you lose the election, how will you want to stay involved?Losing the election will be a setback, but that's okay, I'll just bankroll a bunch of astroturf community groups to lobby for my position back. Any last words?No, I'm going to live forever. |
Who are you?This is a very good question. Does anybody really know who they really are? I mean - there's who you are, who you think you are and who you want to be. I've often fantasised about being a Giraffe if that helps. What position are you running for?Position you say – not so much a position – more of a pose. The pose I'm aiming (not running – definitely not running anywhere at my age) for is the lackadaisical, cool but disinterested look of an overprivileged rich kid, complete with deck shoes and aviator shades. The pose from now on to be referred to as £≡≡þÉ® ©ƒ ╚Ô╔ë or the artist formerly known as Keeper of Lore. Why are you qualified?I mean I don't want to get shirty here, but perhaps ask yourself why are you qualified to ask me why I am qualified? If you don't know – I'm not telling you. What is your favorite color?I have to say I'm getting tired of all these questions – this has to be one of the most unimaginative questions of all time. Mauve. Happy now? What do you think this position should involve?Like I said more of a pose – it should involve parts of my body. OK? Is there anything you would do differently than the last schlub to do this?I am the last schlub – you schlub! What are your goals for your tenure, how will you make 'em happen?Oh for goodness sake – when are we just going to stop pretending that any of us have any goals other to survive the next five years. You don't get paid for this, what is wrong with you?Wait. What? When you lose the election, how will you want to stay involved?No. Any last words?I just want to use this opportunity to say how terrible all of these questions are. None of them make any sense – which would be fine if they were the slightest bit amusing, which, let's face it, they are not. Schlub. |
Who are you?Excuse you What position are you running for?Popular one Why are you qualified?Excuse you!! What is your favorite color?Your mom What do you think this position should involve?More bots Is there anything you would do differently than the last schlub to do this?More trolling What are your goals for your tenure, how will you make 'em happen?Block Dan again You don't get paid for this, what is wrong with you?Weird flex, but ok When you lose the election, how will you want to stay involved?By blocking Dan from my personal account Any last words?We should have held these elections by mail in November |
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